Chronically Unnormal

Chroncially Unnormal How things change and stay the same I’ve been in contestant agony for 10 years now. The pain is worse than it as ever been by a long way these last 3-4 months. Right now I’m more highly medicated then ever but as before though they still don’t touch the pain. I hate to admit but the sound of me screaming has become a quite common recently. Even just writing that sentence is very hard. I always thought I was being honest when I was writing these little blogs but now I realise that I haven’t. I have not made it clear now truly terrible and all-consuming my pain is. I spend my life hiding the pain under the surface or behind closed doors. I understand that the people who care about me wouldn’t like the fact I’m, well, lying to them but when my pain is bad it is frightening and upsetting and I can’t stand upsetting people. With my parents it's different as I obviously can’t hide it from them as I live with them and they’re my carers and even if I ...

Chronically Unnormal: 21 and stuck I’m a ghost, that’s what it’s like I’ve decided. Life changes around me, I’m left standing still. I enjoy being alone and I’m content with my own company. I can solve the world’s problems in my head. I am happy that isn’t a lie but how long can I truly go on like this? I’m lonely I think, I must finally be getting on my own nerves (oh the irony). At the moment I have my studies but I have 2 years left, then what? I don’t know. Stuck that’s the word. I am stuck. It’s like being back in primary school with a blank page in front of me after being told to write a story. Every time I wasn’t in school I missed something, friends made new friends while others drifted apart, it never made any sense to me but then again I’ve known my two closest friends nearly all my life. When I turned up the first day of college everything was different and I was in so much pain that all my energy was taken up trying to cope with just being there and keepi...

Chronically Unnormal: This is it It all started with a bout of shingles that my doctor failed to treat. I was diagnosed with Scheuermann's Disease after the shingles had faded and I was still in pain. The diagnosis came as a relief as I could understand what was going on with my body. As well as the name I also had a cut-off point, when I stopped growing the pain would subside. This is when I started taking pain medication, I guess it must have helped in the beginning but it seems so long ago…I can’t remember. So I went to school as much as I could. I probably missed at least half of year 9. I was being seen by a spinal surgeon in Manchester to keep an eye on the angle of my curve as surgery was not an option as it would probably make the pain worse. But the pain kept getting worse anyway, I was referred to a children’s pain clinic in Sheffield as this was the closest - over an hour and a half away. I always wanted to thank the doctors there - well all except t...

Chronically Unnormal: The beginning of the beginning of... what? First year of secondary school was a particularly happy time for Natalie, life was good she had grown out of her asthma (no more seal impressions). No one had realised that she was dyslexic but the teachers didn’t treat her like a simpleton. Good friends, happy days. Then disaster, a new foe arose to challenge asthma for the title of most annoying aliment. This foe was lower back pain well not quite more like mid back pain. This stumped Natalie doctor’s as they could find no reason for her nemesis. After a couple of weeks in hospital the evil ones plan was still not discovered so the consultant gave Natalie’s parents the old excuse it was all in her head and she was making it up because she didn’t want to go to school. Well this was all news to Natalie as she is a geek and will readily admit to adoring secondary school. I did love secondary school I finally got to do what I’m good at - science. Scienc...

Chronically Unnormal Hi I'm Natalie, I have a fine collection of invisible disabilities and a chronic pain condition. Please excuse my writing, I’m dyslexic and my pain makes concentrating extremely difficult. I was a big baby, really long, so long in fact that I was twisted up like a pretzel unable to move. My mum didn't feel any kicks as I was well an truly stuck. After I was born I reverted back to my pretzel shape as if nothing major had happened. I was extremely clumsy and I had asthma that caused me to bark like an angry seal. But I did live in Runcorn at the time so maybe the regular chlorine leaks and seal impressions might have been linked. The first time I realised I find reading and writing difficult was at primary school. I don't have a great memory but this one is as clear as day. I was in first year sitting at the front desk with the teacher and a book about witches being placed in front of me. I knew what the words in the book said but I couldn’t say ...